Free course
Trauma Informed Parenting: Foundation
A free introduction for parents and carers.
How the course works
This is flexible, self-paced learning. Each module has a full lesson on this website and the same content in the downloadable workbook. You can explore one module each week, with time in between to try the ideas out, or take longer if you need to.
Each module starts with clear learning objectives, then short Learn sections, words to try and worked examples, followed by Try (one small thing to practise), Reflect (questions to think about) and Apply (a short task for your own situation). Pick one thing to try each week. You do not need to change everything at once.
Your reflections stay in your own workbook or notebook. We do not ask you to share them on this website.
About PACE
PACE stands for Playfulness, Acceptance, Curiosity and Empathy. It was created by Dr Dan Hughes, a clinical psychologist, as a core part of Dyadic Developmental Psychotherapy (DDP). It describes a way of being with a child that helps them feel safe, understood and connected. Module 3 explains its history.
- PPlayfulness
- AAcceptance
- CCuriosity
- EEmpathy
This course introduces PACE for parents and carers. It is not affiliated with or endorsed by Dr Hughes or the DDP Institute and is not official DDP training.
The six modules
- 1
Understanding trauma, attachment and behaviour
What attachment and trauma mean, how a child’s need for a safe haven and a secure base changes from early childhood to adolescence, and why behaviour is communication.
- Attachment is a relationship, not a label: a safe haven when things are hard and a secure base to explore from.
- Needs change from early childhood to adolescence, but the need for a trusted adult continues.
- Trauma can make a child’s alarm system very sensitive: fight, flight, freeze and fawn.
- The shift from “What is wrong with you?” to “What happened to you, and what do you need?”
Try this week
Twice this week, notice whether your child is looking for a safe haven or a secure base, and respond to that need. When something difficult happens, quietly ask yourself: “What might this behaviour be telling me?”
- 2
Safety and connection come first
How children build trust through predictable relationships, and what this looks like in birth, foster, adoptive, kinship and residential care, including professional boundaries, transitions, safeguarding and teamwork.
- Being predictable, consistent, calm enough and available.
- Routines, warnings about change and keeping promises.
- Connection before correction, in birth, foster, adoptive, kinship and residential care.
- Warm relationships with clear professional boundaries, planned transitions, safeguarding and teamwork.
Try this week
Make one routine a little more predictable, prepare your child for one transition, and spend ten minutes of child-led time each day.
- 3
PACE part 1: Playfulness and Acceptance
What PACE is, where it comes from in Dr Dan Hughes’s work, and how to use playfulness and acceptance well, including when humour does not belong.
- PACE is an attitude, created by Dr Dan Hughes within DDP, not a technique.
- Playfulness as a light, warm tone, and when to hold back.
- Accepting feelings without accepting every behaviour.
- All feelings are okay. Not all behaviours are okay.
Try this week
Once a day, accept a feeling out loud: “It makes sense that you feel ____.”
- 4
PACE part 2: Curiosity and Empathy
Wondering rather than interrogating, being alongside your child when things are hard, knowing when not to probe, and putting all four parts of PACE together.
- Using “I wonder” language instead of “why” questions.
- Empathy is being alongside, not fixing, rescuing or excusing.
- Knowing when not to probe.
- Putting PACE together in an everyday moment.
Try this week
Use one “I wonder” statement and one empathy statement each day.
- 5
Helping your child calm, and setting limits with care
Co-regulation that fits the child, boundaries that feel safe, consequences that teach rather than shame, and repair after difficult moments.
- Borrowing your calm: steps for when your child is overwhelmed.
- Empathy, then limit, then support.
- Consequences that teach, not shame.
- Repair: coming back and reconnecting after a rupture.
Try this week
Practise one calm-down moment, and one repair if something goes wrong.
- 6
Looking after yourself, and knowing when to ask for help
Why your wellbeing matters, blocked care and burnout, reflection and support, and clear signs that extra help is needed.
- Common feelings for parents and carers, and why they are normal.
- Blocked care and burnout are stress responses, not failings.
- Small, realistic ways to look after yourself.
- When to ask your GP, school or local services for more help.
Try this week
Choose one thing for yourself this week, and tell one other person about it.
Also in the workbook
Worked scenarios
Five real-world examples at home, at a school transition, and in foster, adoptive and residential care: the trigger, possible needs, a PACE response, safe limits and reflection.
Optional group and solo activities
Three role-plays with facilitator steps, timings, role prompts, debrief and safeguarding guidance, each with a solo version. The course does not run live classes.
PACE summary
A one-page reminder of Playfulness, Acceptance, Curiosity and Empathy, with phrases to try and when to hold back.
A calming plan to complete together
Fill this in with your child at a calm time: signs, what helps, safe places and people.
Weekly practice tracker
A simple grid for child-led time, PACE moments, repairs and one thing you did for yourself.
Certificate of completion
Once you confirm you have completed all six modules, a personalised certificate of completion can be offered. It is not a regulated qualification, professional licence or assessed competence award.
These courses provide education and practical information. They are not therapy, diagnosis or a substitute for individual professional advice.
Start the free courseIf your family needs more support
Asking for help is a strength. If you would like individual support for your child or yourself, your GP, your child’s school or your local family support service is a good place to start.
In an emergency, call 999
Our contact form is for course enquiries only and is not monitored as an emergency service.